Feet On the Ground

I’m reviewing The Truth About You by Marcus Buckingham. You can find most of the information about the book on its <a href=”http://www.amazon.com/Truth-About-You-Secret-Success/dp/1400202264″>Amazon page</a>, but here’s my opinion of it!

The book is inserted in a little case that also holds a customized notepad and a DVD. You watch the DVD, read the book, and then follow the instructions with the notepad over the next couple of weeks. The setup makes it seem more like a mini-course than a book, which I found interesting and innovative. Marcus emphasizes the importance of having a job that plays to your skills and strengths, and explains that the whole process of this “course” is going to help you find what your skills are and shape your job to your skills. The stand-out point for me was his identification of your strengths and weaknesses. Not what you’re “good” or “bad” at, but what makes you feel “strong” and “weak.”

The best part is the DVD. If you can ignore his eyebrows (and even if you can’t), Marcus’s passion is so endearing and makes you really believe what he says. I was excited to begin reading the book, but I felt that the information began to get a bit thin there. Most of it points to the reMemo pad and what you’re supposed to do with that. The information that’s there and the reMemo idea are great, but I don’t believe that there is ENOUGH. Also, I’m not at a good place in my life to do the reMemo program.

Here’s my problem. The program is meant for people who are actively working so that they can report on the way that their activities make them feel. I ordered this book from Thomas Nelson’s Book Review Bloggers program so that I would have this information in hand before I went out looking for a job after graduation. Unfortunately, I’m not really doing enough right now to go through the reMemo process. If you hate your job and are confused about where your strengths lie and what you really want to do, this book would be great. If you’re unemployed after just graduating college…not so much.

I never get taken out on dates, so I am quite unfamiliar with the concept of chivalry when it comes to paying. However, it seems that lately even just my friends have been fond of paying for me when we go out to do things. It’s kind of awkward for me, really, because I feel as if I can do absolutely nothing for them in return. Not that I mind someone trying to take care of me- it’s really quite nice. However, I just feel indebted to them somehow. They say that it’s just because they love me and they want to do it, but I still feel suspicious. Certainly people aren’t just attracted to me because of my sweet, gentle nature?

*snicker*

Anyway, this awkwardness happens to me spiritually too. Whenever I do something wrong, I feel that I must wallow in guilt and shame for a certain amount of time until I feel better. It’s my own weird version of Catholicism. AHH! But it’s so strange how we can’t accept a gift unless we think we deserve it. How conceited are we, really? We calculate how much we’re worth and sometimes we factor in the status of the gift-giver as well- how close we are to them and how much extra we think that they have to set aside to spend on us and that equation leads to the amount of protesting that we will do before we give in and take the gift. That’s absolutely dreadful, isn’t it? Even if we don’t mean to do it, we still do.

I’m once again finding myself challenged in my view of God and what He does for me. But really, He is the type of date that will pay every time, and never let us chip in, even once. It’s silly for us to even try, because our best efforts will amount to absolutely nothing compared to what He has already done for us and will continue to do. The most amusing part is that sometimes He lets us try until we realize how futile our efforts are. I wonder how many times He has *facepalm*ed over me.

So I’ve been accused of writing about the mundane things that happen in life. However, the mundane fascinates me. That’s really all that happens to us, you know? Maybe I’ve been reading Ecclesiastes too much, but there is really nothing new that happens in life. We go on about our routines and get through our days and either we work hard or we’re lazy and…none of it really matters! I mean, I’ve been pretty lazy lately, yet God has provided shoes. He is faithful.

Anyway. So what I’ve noticed is that we get SO excited for stuff and we build it up and then it doesn’t happen or we barely notice that it’s happening when it finally does. Have you ever been expecting something so much that when it finally gets there, you’re already tired of it? It’s like needing a vacation when you get home from the beach because you haven’t taken time to relax.

The time between Thanksgiving and Christmas is my favorite time of the year. Even if there’s nothing I really want, I have to drag someone to Walmart on Black Friday just to be there. Emi and I still crack up about what happened last time. There are so many old traditions to uphold and new things to do. It’s a wonderful time of the year to enjoy. Yet Christmas always feels anticlimactic when I look forward to the day too much- so I just look forward to the whole season and enjoy everything that I can. It’s normally not the big events that I remember, but rather the little things. Like when a friend of the family showed up at Sis’s and three of the men pelted him with balls of wrapping paper simultaneously without even discussing it before he came in. I don’t remember one present that I received that year, but I remember the laughter.

I know that I’m supposed to expect God to do big things- and I do. And He does! But I’m so tired of waiting with bated breath for Him to perform huge miracles and missing out on the smaller things that He does for me while feeling that crushing disappointment when I finally have to let go of a dream. Then I question everything about Him and our relationship and I go through a time of wrestling with my faith and then I end up exactly where I was, hoping and believing for something huge again. I’m tired of the cycle. It seems so fruitless.

I’ve figured out that God likes to surprise us. Even when we’ve been in a season of expecting, He comes through in a way unlike anything we ever imagined. I think He just loves the flabbergasted looks on our faces when He moves a mountain out of our way just after we’ve become resigned to climbing over it.

So, even though it’s my birthday…I’m not expecting anything. I always sleep with one eye open, didn’t you know?!

Hell makes complete sense. Heaven is scandalous. -Pastor Mark Driscoll

I heard Mark say this today and I pounded my steering wheel in excitement. It’s PERFECT. I screw up so much and I feel like I am constantly tripping and falling on my face and making a complete mockery of this beautiful gift of life that I’ve been given. I fail, big time, constantly, and in an epic fashion. If I can screw it up, I will. There is absolutely NO way I should make it into heaven. Unlike those people who say that a loving God would never send anyone to hell, I totally wouldn’t blame Him for it. I deserve it.

Except, dude. Did you hear what Jesus did? He was so totally horrified by the thought of living without me near Him that He decided to take care of it all. He left nothing undone. He didn’t halfway take care of it. He just did EVERYTHING.

Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue,  by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. – 2 Peter 1:2-4

First of all, that’s beautifully written. Secondly, I’m too excited to really understand most of it right now. There’s SO much there. I mean, we get an abundance of grace and peace right off the bat. We get everything related to life and godliness, just because we know Jesus! That’s just like, EVERYTHING we need! We are delivered from the blackness of the world, and when we look at everything going on around us that is just completely HORRIBLE we don’t even have to consider ourselves part of it.

And we didn’t do a thing.

I’ve totally known this stuff FOREVER, and I’m sorry if you were looking for something new and groundbreaking. However, this is AWESOME. I’m totally rambling and excited and saying nothing- I get that.

It’s so amazing to know that it has already been completed for us. Everything. All of it. No loose ends. Our works can’t add one bit of righteousness or justification to us- we’ve received it. We can look Jesus right in the eye and we’re not even allowed to look away in shame. It doesn’t even exist, because He has taken care of everything we have done or will do that would make us feel unworthy. There is absolutely no way we should be able to approach Him, but He runs toward us and sweeps us into His arms and rescues us from everything that tries to defeat us.

Awesome.

I remember the first time someone told me that she didn’t read fiction. “I think that reading a made up story is a waste of my time. I need to be learning something,” she said. I’d never heard such drivel. It was an atrocity to me, and I felt completely sucker-punched when she said it. I wasn’t sure why. I started thinking that maybe stories were a waste of time and that I shouldn’t read them. But I was still drawn back to them, and they became a guilty pleasure. I still loved them, but I felt foolish for it. It took quite a while before I could return to a story and feel justified for reading it and loving it, but through this experience I realized the value of a good story.

It’s so terrible that stories are not recognized for their power. Today people just want to hear facts without any type of application because they want the freedom to interpret the knowledge in the way that they choose. Or, especially in religious circles, fiction is considered to be the opposite of truth and therefore a waste of time because there is no basis for what it offers. But the opposite of fiction is not truth, it’s fact. Truth can be found in a story. It’s there when a mother cares for her child, when the oppressed find freedom, or when a man falls in love and finally comes to terms with his emotions and gets around to telling the woman how beautiful and wonderful she is after weeks, months or years of angst. I mean, it can happen in a number of ways, that’s just something that popped in my head. Ahem.

Anyway! Stories are so moving. As the characters learn and grow, so do the readers. There are several books that I pick up again and again to relive the story and I never fail to learn something new that I can apply to my own life. I wish more people would pick up stories and read them just for the sheer enjoyment of entering into someone else’s world for a change. It might do the world good if we got ourselves off of our minds for a while.

If you can’t read a story and connect with the characters in it, you’re in a very bad place in life. Watching a plot unfold onscreen is such a passive experience, but the story written on the pages of a book requires some serious thought and action from the mind to make it a worthwhile venture. The author makes it so easy to connect with the characters, because it is his job to reveal only the pertinent details that you need to know. Although reading is a solitary activity, it’s great practice for building solid relationships in real life because stories in books are modeled after real life. It’s like a relationship with training wheels, really. The hard part, the balance, is done for you by the author.

This unwillingness to connect with anything other than hard facts is the reason that so many relationships feel empty and lack fulfillment. Life is a complex storyline, and it’s a daunting task to try to map it out. We have to dig deep inside of one another, past the defenses and the pretenses and any other techniques that are used to keep us from revealing those intimate details nearest to the heart. But if we’re not willing to do this, we can’t connect in a meaningful way. Relationships aren’t built on facts. They’re built on the stories.

Besides, facts can change with a simple plot twist.

Women have been objectified for like, ever. And we’ll continue to be looked upon as broodmares for like, ever, because men are just that way. It would seem that Christian men would at least have more of a CHANCE of doing a little better in this area because they should know better (ha!) or SOMETHING like that, but no. Really, I’ve noticed that Christian men are even worse.

In the past few months, this has happened with me several times. I don’t know what’s in the air around here, but seriously, I’ve been treated like trash by several guys who have at the very least appeared, at some point since I’ve known them, to love Jesus. Granted, this will not stop you from sinning, but if you truly love Jesus and that is a priority in your heart then there seems to be far less room for douchebaggery.

Ahem.

Anyway, so it’s worse because they do know better. Rather than being repentant, seeking forgiveness and truly trying to change and restore that relationship, they feel guilty. Conviction becomes condemnation, and they understandably hate that feeling so it must be displaced. Who is closest? The person that was sinned against. So in addition to being told that my sexuality is the only thing that makes me valuable, I was blamed for it.

Any time remarks like these were directed my way before, I would make a harsh comment in return or ignore the insinuations and try to cover up any hurt. But a couple months ago, I simply ran out of the room and started sobbing. I completely shocked myself with this reaction, because I always thought that it didn’t matter, that I deserved it, or that men would always be this way. I made excuses. But I won’t do that anymore, because I realized that no woman deserves to be objectified. Even if she is offering up herself to be objectified, she doesn’t deserve it. Every woman has so much more about her to be treasured, and her sexuality is the part that should remain a secret. A prize for the right man.

I am so. not. a feminist. I simply believe that women should be respected and that they should be valued for everything that they offer. So next time you’re objectified- because face it, you probably will be sooner or later- let them know that it hurts. If you feel tears building, let them fall. They’ll say that you’re too sensitive or may make another hurtful comment. If it happens often enough, they’ll understand that it hurts and maybe even care to learn why. If women would stand up to this treatment and say, “No more!” then maybe men would stop doing it. And if you’re a man and you even THINK about making a comment that could even possibly hurt a woman- don’t. It’s not funny.

I mean, I know I might as well wait on my spaceship to show up so I can go frittering about the galaxies. But there’s a small part of me that hopes that men will eventually understand.

On Saturday, I went to The Gathering. It was an event for fans of Ted Dekker, my favorite author. It was so much fun! I’m going to post a two part response to it, this first one simply telling what happened and the second as an explanation of why I believe it was an important and powerful event and how it had an effect on me on a personal level. I might get the order of some events wrong, and I might forget some things, but I’ll try to get it right!

So! First off, we headed in the door and immediately received gift bags. In them: one graphic novel, randomly chosen from among the four made of the Books of History. The water bottle has a Gathering label and the cards, like the poster, can be handed out for promotion. There was a bundle of cards and three of those posters.

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The stage looked great. Sorry for the blurriness! It was hard to take pictures in there, and of course they had the No Flash Photography During The Event Rule. Five hundred tickets were available and the event was sold out. The first thing that happened was that an actor dressed as an old man (think of Moses or someone like that) came out and set the tone by giving a monologue, speaking just like a character from the Forest Dwellers. It was awesome.

They showed a video of some authors and publishers discussing the power of a story and why stories are so intriguing. Allen Arnold, head of fiction at Thomas Nelson publishers, introduced Mike Hyatt, the CEO of Thomas Nelson. I totally freaked out at this point, because I follow Mike on Twitter and read his blog often. He spoke on the power of story as well, giving some insight into his life and why he is so passionate about publishing and fiction and such. ‘Twas awesome. Then there was a break and I stalked him and talked to him for a few minutes. He was so kind and genuine and absolutely approachable. His first comment to me was, “You look just like your Twitter picture!” Heh. I really appreciated my time with him. He is so encouraging. It’s great to finally meet someone in person and realize that they even surpassed your expectations.

Ted came out and they played an audio track of him doing voices of his various characters while he dressed up as some of them and used props that were onstage. The audience roared when he dressed up as Marsuvees Black. His wife and daughters came out and did some Ted trivia, about him and his books. They were hard questions! His wife is also totes presh. There was another storyteller reading from one of Ted’s books- I think it was Black, but I’m not sure. Honestly, one of the greatest parts about the whole thing is finally learning the correct way to pronounce Tanis, Teeleh, Michal and Gabil.

I must confess that the whole time I was waiting for a Roush to walk onstage, and then I realized that would be quite impossible.

Ted did a Q&A session before and after lunch, and it was pretty great to hear him speak so freely on certain things. Of course, he would say, “I can’t talk about that,” regarding certain important issues so there really weren’t any spoilers, except we did get some information about future books. He has a nonfiction coming out in January and published by DoubleDay called Tea with Hezbollah which will recount his experience touring through the Middle East and meeting with Muslim leaders as well as leaders of Hamas and Hezbollah. I absolutely cannot wait for this! Also, Green will be out September 1 (ZOMG!) and Burn co-authored with Erin Healy will be on January 12, 2010. He just finished a book called The Bride Collector which will be out in April 2010. He’s working on a book called Immanuel’s Veins (think of the hymn) that will be connected with some of his previous books, but I can’t remember exactly what he said about that (sorry!). He also mentioned that he will write another book about Marsuvees and that a few years down the road he’ll release a new trilogy.

Since Green will be released as part of the Circle Series (no longer a trilogy!), Thomas Nelson is doing something that I think is phenomenal. The hardcover versions of Black, Red and White are impossible to find (even though I have them, muahaha!) so they are re-releasing them as hardcovers in a box set with Green for $69.99 which is an amazing deal.

The most exciting future Ted tidbit: His January 2011 book with Erin Healy will be a sequel to Blink. ZOMG! I KNOWWWW. Total freak out moment in the audience when that was announced. Some of this information was announced by Ted or by the publishers or by people from Creative Trust.

After lunch, as soon as we walked in we were given exclusive Advanced Reader’s Copies (ARCs- also known as galleys) of Burn which won’t be out until January. I still can’t believe that I have this.

So anyway. There was another Q&A with Ted, as I mentioned. The storytellers came back out to read and speak- the woman in particular was absolutely excellent. I could have sat all day and listened to her read. Ted introduced his family and talked about them a little bit, as well as more of his personal experiences.

I thought that the afternoon session wasn’t quite as exciting. There was a little interview with Kaci Hill, who co-authored Lunatic and Elyon with Ted, the last two books in the Books of History series. She seemed nervous and disconnected from the audience and what she was saying. I completely understand being nervous for something like this, but I wish they had prepped her a little more because some of her answers didn’t make sense. Then an illusionist came out and did some tricks. I don’t want to sound snobbish here, but his showmanship didn’t draw me in. After watching The Prestige, well, he was as bad as Christian Bale’s character at setting up a “trick.” I just wasn’t impressed.

However, one thing I did quite enjoy was seeing the man from Hachette Book Group come onstage and speak about his role with publishing BoneMan’s Daughters and the future with Ted. Prowling around on Hachette’s site is pretty cool- they represent authors like Stephenie Meyer to a host of best-selling Christian authors like Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyer. Part of me is a little sad, because I wish Thomas Nelson was more proactive with authors like this. Is it a denominational thing? Hachette doesn’t really have anything to lose, I guess, with some of the Christian mavericks like Joyce or TD Jakes or Creflo Dollar. Anyway, that’s a sidebar. The man there seemed completely blown away by the entire event and the passion of all of the people there for Ted’s work. He said that because of Hachette’s efforts and reach in the market, BoneMan’s Daughters has outsold every other of Ted’s books in the first 8 weeks of its release. Go Ted!

So then we wait for the book signing. And we wait, and wait and wait. I didn’t get to see Ted until 9 that night. While in line, I got to speak with his wife LeeAnn for a moment. She was even more presh face to face! Anyway, I’m sure Ted was exhausted, but he didn’t show it when I met him. He shook my hand and made it seem like an honor to meet ME. He asked some questions about myself and then I told him that I loved the event and that Thr3e was my first Ted book.

So exciting. Side note: it’s so weird seeing the WestBow logo now. Anyway, I told Ted that he should tweet more often and he said that he’d been on Facebook too much lately. Hehe! I could tell while he was onstage that he was a pretty soft-spoken person, but when I met him it just stood out to me that he had such a gentle spirit. Not expected for someone who writes such great villains like Slater and Marsuvees. I’ll post more about that tomorrow, since this post is so long already.

Anyway, on the way out, Hachette gave us a bag with Ted’s name on it and two books from two of their authors.

I threw Lunatic and Elyon into the picture because I got those as well and am pretty excited about them. The cover for Lunatic is fabulous, and this picture didn’t do it justice, so…

Anyway! Can’t wait to know who that character is. I’ve been fail at reading lately, so I have several books to read and in the next few weeks. Not a bad problem.

So, there is my recap of the events of The Gathering 2009. Barring the rapture, the Raison Strain virus, or cancellation of the event I WILL be at the 2010 Gathering. Hope to see you there!

ETA: I forgot about the dancers! They were MAGNIFICENT! The interpretive dance was of Creation, the Fall, and the Redemption. They were extremely talented and it was obvious that they were very experienced.