Chuck vs. the Nielsen System

Tonight is the series finale of the much-beloved Chuck. It’s hard to explain the devastation to a non-fan. But it’s a show that is the culmination of my favorite things in entertainment: clever, fun, witty, and suspenseful. It manages to be all of these things while tugging at the heartstrings. Yes, there are many far-fetched things in it – but then again, almost all shows and movies require some suspension of reality. From the pilot episode, which showed our dorky, lovable hero thrust into a situation he would never have expected, I was hooked – and so was my family. (It didn’t hurt that Matt Bomer and Adam Baldwin were there in the pilot either. It’s time for Adam to have his own lead role, am I right?)

Being a Chuck fan has been an emotional, stressful ride- and not just because of the suspenseful storylines. Great show impacted by the infamous strike (like so many were a few years ago). Then years of uncertainty. Renewal? Picked up for the second half of a season? Renewal again? We bit our nails, held onto hope, retweeted and went to Subway. Fans held Save Chuck campaigns with more passion than politicians.

And when it was announced that NBC would give Chuck a final, albeit shortened season to allow the story to wrap up, it was instantly a trending topic on Twitter.

But, says Nielsen – no one watched.

Chuck is yet another show that has been killed by this inefficient and outdated system. Pushing Daisies, Dollhouse, Firefly – just a few amazingly creative shows that had so much potential but were hampered by networks and budgets and lack of advertising and a million things that most of us will never know, but ratings are the primary culprits. I know that no one is going to allow a show to remain on the air if they can’t make money from it. I know that advertisers won’t pay as much for a commercial on a show that “only” a million people are watching. (As if we watch commercials these days. But I would if it would save my show!) But it’s time for the antiquated, inefficient Nielsen system to go.

I’ve taken experimental psychology. I know how inexact sampling is. We know how useless polls are – I’ve never had anyone ask me what my political views are for a poll, but we’re expected to believe that calling around or online voting provides an accurate sample. So why do we still rely on the Nielsen system to provide an accurate representation of how many people are watching a show?

I’ve seen industry people blog about how the technology is far away from being developed, but I have a hard time swallowing that. You mean to tell me that even though my cable company can make channels available or unavailable within 5 minutes of me calling to change my service, they can’t track what I’m watching? There are also privacy concerns – but I can’t imagine that most people would be opposed to anonymous records of what they’re watching. Even if half of cable/dish subscribers opted out, it would still offer a much better representation than this “sample” that Nielsen gets.

Maybe I just can’t believe that so many people are REALLY watching Dancing With the Stars.

It’s time for the TV industry to catch up. This season’s episodes of Chuck aren’t available on Hulu or iTunes. For other shows, we’re told not to watch online but to watch live – but that doesn’t matter if we don’t have a Nielsen box. For a regular viewer, we’re stuck, unable to do much more than tweet or blog about how much we love a show and to encourage others to watch it. And unless someone that we encourage is a Nielsen viewer and they watch the whole thing without fast forwarding through commercials, it doesn’t count.

I hate being such a cynic, but at this point, I’m starting to wonder if there’s a plot between companies to keep us from truly knowing how many people are watching. Because I don’t see how less than 4 million people are watching Chuck. If it’s really true, if 19 million people were watching the Dancing With the Stars results show and less than 4 million were watching Chuck, I just don’t have any hope left. Jersey Shore, Toddlers in Tiaras and Teen Mom are hits while Chuck is ending. What is wrong with the world?

I’m sorry that I couldn’t do more to save my shows. But I’m more sorry, to Zachary, Yvonne, Adam, Josh Gomez, Ryan, Sarah, McG, Chris Fedak, Josh Schwartz, and yes, I see you in the credits, Buzz Feitshans IV. I’m sorry to them and the whole cast and crew that your hard work hasn’t been more appreciated. I’m sorry that the system is so biased against us and against all of the other great shows that have failed because there’s nothing that we could have done better. I hope that in a few years, the Nielsen system will be a distant memory and that we won’t see this huge fanbase online saying, “We’re all watching this, and it’s great! Why is it getting canceled?!”

 

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Super Delightful.

Law school can be a pretty desolate place, especially if you move away from home. You’re surrounded by really smart people, and it feels like everyone is coping so much better than you are. You’re thrown into a world of competition and might not know what’s going on half the time. Your professors seem to be on another plane altogether because they have had years of studying the information they expect you to know as thoroughly as they do right away. Because it’s such a competitive atmosphere, no one wants to show weakness, and therefore you feel pretty alone in your confusion and it’s easy to convince yourself that you’re the dumbest person there.

And because you’re truly not dumb, and you’ve been pretty confident in your intelligence up until this point, frustration and hurt and anger abound. You begin taking out your feelings on those around you because you’re so miserable, and anytime someone says something like, “You’re so smart!” and “You’re going to do so well!” and “You’ll have a great job one day!” it feels like a total lie and only serves to make you seem like more of a failure because you’re not living up to everyone’s expectations.

It. sucks.

I know many law people who read this might not be Christians. And many Christians who read this might not go to law school. Don’t quit reading now, though, because I think this concept can bring comfort to pretty much anyone.

In the first part of Isaiah 62, it is said that Zion will receive a new name. But the way the translations are written, it’s like we’re being promised something personally. This is what the Bible says in The Message version (emphasis mine):

You’ll get a brand-new name 
   straight from the mouth of God.
You’ll be a stunning crown in the palm of God’s hand, 
   a jeweled gold cup held high in the hand of your God.
No more will anyone call you Rejected, 
   and your country will no more be called Ruined.
You’ll be called Hephzibah (My Delight), 
   and your land Beulah (Married),
Because God delights in you 
   and your land will be like a wedding celebration.
For as a young man marries his virgin bride, 
   so your builder marries you,
And as a bridegroom is happy in his bride, 
   so your God is happy with you.

I heard someone reading this earlier, and I immediately rebelled. I do not feel delightful. I feel mean, upset, stressed, on the verge of a mental breakdown, scattered, spent, and frustrated, but I do not feel delightful or delighted in any way. Calling something by another name doesn’t change its identity.

My all time favorite episode of Modern Family is the Halloween episode. It’s hilarious, but the pertinent part here is that the Dunphy’s next door neighbor left her husband, and the husband was all desolate and sad and told Phil that his wife didn’t find him delightful anymore. Phil responds, in his adorably earnest way, “That’s coconuts. You’re super delightful.”

When I heard that verse, and my thoughts turned to how un-delightful I feel, I just as quickly thought, “That’s coconuts.”

God spoke through a burning bush, so I’m pretty sure He can use Phil Dunphy too. I have such a hard time seeing myself as anything other than how I feel in this moment, but if God really does see me as delightful, I’d really like to learn how to see through His eyes. To go from desolate and ruined to delightful and delighted in like a happily married bride? What a deal.

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Sort of, Maybe, Possibly…Getting Better.

I love being home. Finals are over, I’m halfway through law school, and I get to be home until January 8th. It’s awesome.

Every night that I’ve been home so far, just before I fall asleep, I’m overwhelmed with a sense of gratefulness and rightness. As much as I feel adrift, confused and questioning every step of law school, I feel centered and calm at home. It’s especially wonderful right now, when I don’t have any pressing reading for school. I have scarves to finish, fun books to read, tv to catch up on, and a spec script to finish, but every one of those things are absolutely enjoyable.

As much as I hate going into debt to do all of this work (who came up with this system? It makes no sense!), and as useless as I feel seeing absolutely nothing come from my labors, I do love that I can have weeks in between the drudgery where it’s totally acceptable (even expected) that my to do list includes copious amounts of television viewing.

Part of feeling better comes from my new medicine. After nearly two years of Zoloft working (ish), I realized that more often than not I was feeling anxious, panicked, angry and unsettled. The end of October and most of November was especially bad, but after about 6 weeks of the new medicine being in my system, I feel much better. I suddenly knew there was a problem when I was in class reading a line of text over and over and not understanding a word of it. I had heard people say antidepressants left them in a fog, but didn’t understand until then. I knew that my concentration and focusing abilities were so much stronger even in high school than during law school – and law school is not a good time to suddenly not understand what you’re reading. In addition, a panic attack was almost constantly lurking and I had chest pain from anxiety so bad that I could barely breathe.

My doctor did a direct switch, and it was a great decision. On a semester system, there’s not enough time to taper and wean off of one drug and start on a new one. The first week, I was as hungry as a horse and ate everything in sight. I got great sleep, but about 12-14 hours each night. My chest was still hurting, so after an EKG to rule out anything more nefarious, my doctor raised my dosage to combat the anxiety, which made it less sedating and made me less hungry. It took about two weeks for the dizziness to subside – one day after walking to class I nearly blacked out, but I think that was a combination of walking too fast with a heavy backpack and still fighting with the panic. After that, I took it easy and was okay if I didn’t move around too much. I can tell that my mood has lifted and after the dizziness subsided, my thinking got clearer. Even my boyfriend said that I am responding better in conversations and we can both tell that I’m not forgetting things as much as I was before.

Is all this worth the 20 pounds I’ve gained? As someone who has always been skinny with no effort, I’m honestly not sure. I’ve leveled off on the gain, which is great, but exercise hasn’t seemed to make much of a difference. Some days I’m a little too lethargic to exercise, even though I’m trying anyway. I wasn’t eating junk food when I was hungry, just eating a bigger volume of food – more helpings than I’m used to. Although I fill up faster now that I’m on a higher dose, I still get hungrier more often than I’d like. With this weight gain, I wish the medicine was more effective. Some days it works great, and then sometimes I’m anxious or snappy or jittery. The night after my last final I fought recurring panic for a few hours as I was trying to sleep…but that makes some sense – with the crash and de-stressing and all.

Nothing is going to be a wonder drug, but this is the closest thing I’ve gotten. I’m trying to still take the good with the bad. I’m ever hopeful that one day I won’t have to take anything, but for now, this is the right choice.

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Working Out is Evil.

I’ve always HATED exercising.* And luckily, I’ve always had a fast metabolism and I get full pretty easily, so I don’t eat much at one time and I generally don’t eat a ton throughout the day. However, for many reasons that I may get into at another time, I recently changed to a medicine that is notorious for making people crave sweets.

Maybe it’s because I’ve always had a sweet tooth, but I didn’t feel that extra craving for something sweet in the middle of the night. Instead, I wanted more real food, which was really nice because I was finally able to eat as much of a meal as I wanted without getting super full and sick.

The bad news is that I gained a few pounds. It probably isn’t that much, and I know I sound like Regina George (I want to lose 3 pounds! OMG no! You’re so skinny!), but I gained it in my stomach and I need my jeans to fit because I paid too much for them to sit on the shelf. I wasn’t able to exert myself much after switching meds because of the transition dizziness (almost passing out in tax class is fun!), but it finally passed…

…so I got up the gumption to go over to the small gym at my apartment complex and exercise. I like using an elliptical because of the low impact on the joints (except it makes my uneven hips feel like they’re misaligned by about 3 feet, although anything but sitting on my couch makes me feel like that), so I hopped on and was (un)merrily trudging along…when two guys swaggered in the gym to lift weights.

And I had Serendipity on the TV.

There is just no coming back from that.

Fortunately, however, I ate my fill for lunch today and then felt nastily, bloatedly, terribly sick from eating so much (which probably isn’t much for the average person) so hopefully, my stomach’s reign of terror is over. After having a rough reaction the first night I bumped up my dosage (doctor’s orders, plus it’s also less sedating and causes fewer cravings at a higher dosage), it seems that things might be leveling out. After my jeans are back in fitting shape, you better believe I’ll be back on my couch full time.

Down with exercise.

*Those of you who pretend to love exercising, I’m onto you. I know that when you tweet, “Ran XX miles in XX minutes and felt good,” you’re really thinking, “I’m not sure that run was worth suffering through for this latte, so I’m getting extra whipped cream.”

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The 2L Report: 7 Weeks In

This post is really long. Prepare to get distracted halfway through, or sooner, and abandon it.

It only took a mere 7 weeks. My one objective while in school is basically not letting anxiety get to a crippling point. This week, I failed in a pretty great fashion.

Before school started my anxiety manifested in chest pain. I had experienced that before intermittently, but when I began preparing to come back for this semester it started hanging on for days…and despite some recently prescribed anti-anxiety medication, it has persisted and I feel it almost every day. I get so annoyed with myself. Why can’t I handle this better? What’s wrong with me? While I am taking in a lot of information in my classes, it’s pretty easy to understand. (Except for tax, where everyone makes it through class only thanks to Facebook. My professor managed to make already dry information even worse.) I have zero problem keeping up with my reading and studying while I’m at home. I have some stresses that are unrelated to school, but nothing that the regular population doesn’t also deal with.

I feel afraid to leave the house sometimes, like if I just stay inside with my books and TV and crocheting that it’s all going to be okay. I know that’s so not true, and that in the long run it hurts me. But when nothing bad happens in the short term, that just reinforces my behavior. I’d REALLY love to blame school for all of this, but it’s not really the problem. I felt this way quite a bit over the summer. For some reason, when the sun is blazing and everyone else is out there, thriving, I just want to shut the blinds.

It’s easier in the dark. It’s easier in the winter when things aren’t quite so bright. The outside world is less invasive then.

I know this all makes me sound ridiculous, and I hate that even more. I just want to be normal and functional.

There are definitely bright spots in my life, those that are bright in a good way. The sweet things my boyfriend says, the prayers Mom speaks over me on the phone, the camaraderie of the girls in my life group from church, hilarious tweets from my hilarious tweeple, escapism into the worlds of TV (Psych is finally back!), vast amounts of hot tea, sweet texts from friends that I don’t talk to nearly enough, novel-length emails from friends far away, extensive Facebook chats, awaiting the birth of my nephew (he’s not really, I’m just claiming him as such since the mother and I are both only children and BFFs), visits home where I get to snuggle my baby cousins in a stranglehold, especially baby Moses, whose smiles chase away even the darkest darkness. But it doesn’t seem to matter how often I pray or try to focus on the good things – the foreboding and fear and suffocation always creeps back.

As far as school goes, I’m enjoying the material so much more. I don’t know what it is about the 1L classes you’re forced to take, but they just suck. Hard. I am focusing on business law and intellectual property, and it’s so much better. Tax sucks, as previously mentioned, but I don’t think there’s really a way to make taxes better – paying them OR learning about them. I think securities are interesting, which caused my professor to laugh and call me a sick woman. I’m hoping interest translates into better grades this semester, as does transferring some of that anxiety into fuel for reading my assignments more closely. If not, then I’m just the dumb one they let into law school accidentally.

I’ve been cooking more. Okay, just the fact that I’ve been cooking at all means that I’m cooking more. I busted out the crock pot for the first time and have been experimenting with some dishes. I also mastered ricotta gnocchi and plan to try potato gnocchi soon – it just seems like a lot of effort for something that might fail. I’d love to bake some, which is what I really enjoy, but most desserts end up making far too much for one person.

I’ve been home twice since school started. Both visits were great, but it makes coming back to school that much harder. I always forget that I’m an introvert until I come back and flop into an exhausted Kayla-heap in my recliner, realizing that being a social butterfly is more tiresome than Gossip Girl reveals. I don’t like that going home means that I miss church here, but more often than not when I’m here alone I just end up watching the service online while in my pajamas. I love when someone visits me here – I actually have a reason to get out and do fun things. Having someone at my side blows away the anxiety, but what makes me think that this increased level of discomfort is brought on by the stress of school is that in the past, I never had a problem going to a movie or a restaurant alone. I don’t mind being alone most of the time.

Life with a boyfriend, even a long distance one, is a billion times better than life without one – except that I know it’s because I actually found the right one! He’s unfailingly encouraging and just as stubborn as I am, if not more so. I haven’t yet managed to convince him that I’m going to fail, which in turn keeps my tiny spark of hope alive.

Each passing season of TV makes me wish I had a way to enter the industry that much more. I live in the wrong area of the country for that, and the thought of moving to a different region is absolutely terrifying, but I wish I could be in that environment. Even just on set, working the food table, soaking up the process. I’m in love with Ringer and Pan Am. New Girl is quirky and I hope it can sustain the premise, Modern Family is full of gut-busting hilarity as per usual, Fringe is creepier and Walter is still awesome. The first two episodes of this season of House have been better than any episodes of last season, and just fortify my love for the show that much more – I will never not love it. Vampire Diaries and Secret Circle are guilty pleasures that I don’t feel so guilty about, while Gossip Girl and 90210 are as ridiculously guilty as ever – more so, even. I’m a little sad that I’ve kind of lost some interest in Glee, but I still hold out hope for it, because hope in my TV shows is hard to quench. I’m nothing if not loyal. The Good Wife fills me with a delicious thrill right down to my toenails, with Christine Baranski stealing every scene she’s in, Eli being awesome, and Will causing Alicia to be not-so-good. I hate hate hate beyond measure that this is the last season of both The Closer and Chuck. I have no idea why Captain Raydor is going to be the new star of Closer’s spinoff – can’t stand her and have zero interest in watching her lead a show. Even though Chuck hasn’t started yet, I’m full on grieving its end. I’m stoked for Bones to come back, with a little bit of apprehension regarding how they’ll handle Booth/Bones. Definitely interested in how Dexter is going to tackle religion this season, and may I just say that Michael C. Hall gets more attractive every year? How does this happen? And yet with all of this, I’m frothing at the bit waiting for Burn Notice, White Collar, and Covert Affairs to come back (as well as Cougar Town). When I saw those promos during Psych, it was like Christmas. USA Network = Santa Claus.

Speaking of Psych – ahh, the joy of my life. After Jesus. Although I’m pretty sure Jesus gave Steve Franks the idea for Psych just to make me happy. I was in constant :D mode during the season premiere, but the next episode is what I’m waiting for. It’s loosely spoofed off of The Hangover, and touted as the funniest episode of the series so far. The promo showed Lassiter, Shawn, Gus and Woody (the coroner) waking up in the Psych office with no idea what happened the night before – and Shawn is talking to Henry on the phone, who wakes up in a hotel room not wearing pants.

Summary of this post:

Life = suck.

TV = awesome.

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Why Ringer Doesn’t Suck.

Most of the reviews of Ringer say that it’s mediocre and disappointing. I think it’s because they expected it to be something that it’s not.

When I first heard SMG say that it had some film noir tones, I was both intrigued and concerned. Film noir is dark for the sake of being dark and I’m all for it, but everyone is expecting one of three things from Ringer:

  • Buffy. Action, wit, and more action, simply because of the star.
  • To be a mindless, guilty pleasure viewing with pretty girls and hot guys running around shagging and doing whatever they want with no consequences, simply because that’s what half the shows on TV are about these days, and CW is known for the stuff of Gossip Girl and 90210.
  • To be full of action and have a fast moving plot, because that’s what many new TV shows use to tantalize new viewers.
I read a review that said the pilot moves slow and SMG’s performance is wan compared to Buffy. No, it’s not. It’s different. I think the writers tried not to get too flowery with the dialogue in the pilot simply because there were so many details to lay out for the viewers. It’s twisty and complicated, and would have benefitted from a two hour premiere. I hope viewers stick with it to see what happens next, because I’m in it for the long haul. As for the performance? In Buffy, her character was supposed to knock down doors and fight demons. In Ringer, we mostly see her as Bridget. She’s scared because she needs to testify in a trial to bring down a killer, then she’s trying to pretend to be her sister. No, of course she’s not going to go barging around with the confidence of Buffy.
We do see Bridget get jumped and shoot her attacker, because she thinks he thinks she’s Bridget, while she’s posing as Siobhan. Then she finds a picture labeled Siobhan. So now people want to kill both of them, and Bridget realizes she’s not safe as Siobhan, either. Then we see that Siobhan is still alive in Paris, and she’s getting cryptic phone calls about how her sister is ruining everything by posing as her. And she doesn’t know she’s pregnant, because Bridget got the call.
Yes, of course, SMG is the best part of the show so far. But just because she’s not staking vamps and dashing around with the Scoobies doesn’t mean it’s not interesting or that her acting isn’t great – because it is. Buffy required her to be a force of nature, while Ringer requires subtlety, and it’s wonderful. Few actresses can pull off being strong and vulnerable at the same time, but she does so masterfully.
What stood out to me is the look on Bridget’s face when she realized that Siobhan had a strained relationship with her husband. When he rejected her by saying that he didn’t believe she had changed, Bridget really reacted like she had a stake in this relationship, like he was really rejecting her, and it was heartbreaking. Then Bridget was horrified that she was expected to continue Siobhan’s affair with her best friend’s husband, and she had to see the temptation of Siobhan’s stepdaughter’s drugs in the house (she’s only been clean for 6 months), and then realized that someone wants to kill Siobhan too. Her safe haven was gone.
That’s not wan. That’s not slow. That is deep, real emotion that we don’t get from shows anymore. However, since shows are used as a form of escapism, we don’t want to see a character that could be us. We don’t want to see someone rejected, trying to do the right thing, and then have to fall for the sins of others.
No, it’s not a smashing pilot. Yes, it’s confusing. But it is definitely worth watching again. Maybe I wasn’t disappointed because I came into the show knowing that lots of people didn’t like it, but I hope that other people stick with it, too. You can tell that SMG as Siobhan is more polished, calmer, has an edge and has somehow gotten herself in trouble while looking like the perfect woman – and I’m super excited to see more of that. Interesting how Bridget, as a reformed stripper and drug addict, can look rosy compared to Siobhan.
This could be really, really fun. Don’t write off Ringer because it’s not what you thought it was going to be, or should be. Accept and appreciate it for what it is.

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Maybe I’ll Be Fine.

I’ve never been a positive person. I even prefer to think of the glass half empty. That way, it’s not all the way empty – there’s some left. Whereas if it’s half full, I am all Eeyore and think about how it COULD be all the way full, but it’s only half full, and that’s sad.

So thinking about leaving my family and my friends and my familiar places and my now-official boyfriend to go back to school in three short weeks is getting really rough. Here, I feel loved. There, I feel doom and gloom and a giant weight on my shoulders. No, really, my backpack is heavy. My books are 1400 pages each.

I was messaging a couple of friends to plan when they should visit me, and realized that most of my weekends up until Thanksgiving are already mapped out. Fortunately, for most of them I’ll have someone visiting me or I’ll be coming home so I won’t be too lonely. Sunday nights I have life group with some girls from a church I visited last semester, and then I’ll likely be too busy throughout the week to get too lonely.

There’s nothing huge to look forward to when I go back, but I’m finding that focusing on the little joys that I discovered last year is making the time ahead seem less bleak. The bookstore bistro that has a different fruit cobbler every day, the shoe stores, the restaurant with the amazing chocolate desserts, the smoothie cafe and great nail salon that gives a gel French manicure that lasts three weeks next to my apartment, my fireplace that makes the living room a million times cozier in the winter. The Macy’s that has Lush bath products, and the relaxing bubble baths that they provide. My recliner and citrus candle. The chicken alfredo for lunch from the building next to the law school.

One of my biggest downfalls is my tendency to get overwhelmed and shut down, and law school is NOT a good place for that to be a weakness. I’m not looking forward to going back to feeling so alone, but at least I have a few things that I know I can enjoy, and that gives me some strength to face the next year.

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USA (bleeping) Network

I grew up in a conservative Christian family in the Bible belt. When I was young I rarely, if ever heard cussing. That of course changed going to middle school and high school, then college, and especially now in law school where everyone hates life. Still, I’ve never really been around groups of people as foul-mouthed as those in certain movies and premium TV shows, like Dexter. I thought I was adjusted well enough that I wasn’t completely desensitized while not completely horrified when I hear cussing. In fact, while my mom is totally offended when hearing it on TV, most of the time whether onscreen or in person it just goes in one ear and out the other for me. There are even a couple catchphrases utilizing curse words that totally crack me up (batshit crazy, anyone?).

When watching TV and hanging out with certain people that I know are prone to cursing, I can steel myself pretty well and it doesn’t bother me much.

But when USA Network premiered the new shows Suits and Necessary Roughness, I was shocked. I barely notice when someone says a mild four-letter word, and even though I’d heard ‘god damn’ on In Plain Sight a couple times, I couldn’t believe how many times it was thrown out there even just in the pilot episode of Suits. I found online where some people were surprised that USA allowed characters to say “shit.”

Seriously?

That’s like, a stub-your-toe word. Well, in my family, it’s probably a smash-your-foot-and-break-a-bone word, but it’s mild.

I love USA. I love the ingenuity of characters and the banter and how they all explore worlds that are completely foreign to me. Most of all, though, I love that I can sit and watch these shows with my parents. Most of these shows, anyway.

I know many people will roll their eyes and judge me for posting about this. Maybe I need a thicker skin. But in my area of the world, where people are simple and take things at face value and enjoy their quiet lives, there are certain things we don’t like to compromise. We understand that an R-rated movie and a show on Showtime or HBO will have lots of cussing and other things we might not want to see and it becomes easier to avoid.

It’s not something we’re going to expect from USA. Network execs have stated that Suits is supposed to push the boundaries, be a little darker, deal with different issues and have a different tone. That’s fine. I like the show well enough, but the amount of cursing is extremely off-putting to someone from the Bible belt. There are lots of TV-loving people that love God, too. I know a lot of people hate Christians or find us ridiculous, but Christians are still consumers. Alienating a giant segment of viewership is not a good idea.

USA has had amazing successes in the past few years. The ratings are unbelievable and new shows are debuting strong and holding the audience. I first fell in love with USA with Psych, watching Shawn and Gus run around acting like morons. Then Burn Notice captured my interest with the spy world and some awesome explosions…and it went on from there. I’ve watched every episode of every show since. I don’t want my relationship with USA, and my relationship with the beloved world of TV, to dissolve.

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Laundry Angel

Sunday afternoon Mom and I took ourselves to the laundromat. We had quite a pile with regular laundry plus all of my bedding after a deep clean of my room. We lugged it in and went over to a row of washers and began unloading. I ran out to the car to grab another bag, and when I came in I saw that the woman next to us had a GIANT jar of quarters. Mom told me, “She wants to pay for our laundry.”

The story was that her church read Max Lucado’s Outlive Your Life and decided to do things to make a small difference for people. She was part of a group of widows that decided to get together their quarters, pray over them and put prayer cloths in the jar and then take turns going to various laundromats to pay for people’s laundry. I watched some people leave and thank her and turn over their extra quarters. She went up to everyone who came in and chatted with them and doled out her quarters. She finished before we did, and made sure everyone had enough quarters to finish drying all of their loads. She left us so many extra that we turned them over to people when we were done.

How sweet is that? I felt so humbled and honored. It was such a small thing, but she did it. Christians talk about giving and doing things for others, but at my church it’s almost like if you can’t make a huge gesture then you might as well do nothing at all. She totally warmed my heart with this, because she did it all with a smile and she had the sweetest round face that just seemed to glow with God’s love.

“And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which make a penny. And he called his disciples to him and said to them, “Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.” – Mark 12:42-44

I get so discouraged with my inability to do great things, especially around people who demean those who seemingly have little to offer. But it’s such a good reminder that God loves any effort at all, especially when a little is all you have to give.

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Starbucks Observations.

People complain about their kids all the time. How they’re noisy, they have fits, they’re clingy. You see kids in public that are totally out of control and undisciplined.

When I was little, if I had thrown a fit in public we would have immediately gone home and then my mom would have busted my butt immediately upon crossing through the door. I didn’t act out because I knew it was inappropriate. Any behavior that was unruly or embarrassing in public was immediately punished. I didn’t get whipped many times because I knew she wasn’t kidding. What Mom said to do, I did, simply because I understood that I was to obey. She used force when necessary, but most of the time it wasn’t – she just instilled in me that I was to act like I had some sense. That seems to be rarer these days.

I’m in Starbucks right now, and there are college girls and adults that are talking so loudly, no one can concentrate. People have left because of them. Even though there are people here trying to study, read or quietly enjoy their coffee, these people have no decorum and no respect.

Then two different moms walked in with their kids. One is a boy, one is a girl – probably between 7 and 9. I thought I was going to have to leave because they were surely going to be loud and unruly.

Wrong.

The mom and the girl are talking. I can’t even hear the girl’s voice, but I can tell that they’re talking about school and friends and playing – innocent stuff, not too loud, and it’s really sweet to see them just relaxing and chatting. They both have their feet up and are slouched in the comfy chairs. The mom is preggers and near to bursting, but she’s taking time out to spend with her daughter and just talk. She just told her daughter that when she was in college, there wasn’t even a Starbucks in Kentucky.

The mom and the boy are sitting quietly at a table. They talked for a few minutes, shared a pastry neither of them had eaten before and discussed whether or not they liked it and would get it again. The boy had problems getting his straw out of the wrapper and was banging the end against the table repeatedly and loudly. The mom had started to read her book, and she looked up at him and told him to stop – then showed him how to get the straw out without being destructive. She let him know that he shouldn’t be disruptive, but showed him how to accomplish his task. They’ve clearly just been to the library, and both of them have books, but the little boy opted to play on his DS for a while. I wish he was reading, yet the fact that he even carried a book into Starbucks is a good sign, in my eyes. The Mom just put her receipt in her book as a bookmark, and asked him about school. They are right beside me, and I can still barely make out what they’re saying – while the girls tables away are talking so loudly I could transcribe their conversation.

I think this little boy and this little girl are going to grow up to be pretty decent people. They’re already conducting themselves in public better than people who are over a decade older. I really hope that when I’m a parent, I can teach my kids to be thoughtful and respectful of others.

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